You know that laughter can reduce stress hormones by up to 45%. It’s a better way to give mom the gift of health than with some belly-aching laughs this Mother Day. We all know mothers deserve the world. They’ve mastered the art of finding lost socks, translating toddler gibberish, and somehow making dinner appear out of thin air. But here’s the thing: moms have the best sense of humor, too. They’ve survived years of dad jokes, after all.
You’re looking for the perfect one-liner for her Mother Day card, want to break the ice at the family brunch, or simply need ammunition for your Mother Day speech, I’ve got you covered from cheesy puns that’ll make her groan (in the best way) to clever quips about motherhood. These mother day jokes will have your mom rolling with laughter. Trust me, after changing all those diapers, she’s earned some good laughs.
Mother Day Puns
- Why is a computer so smart? It listens to its motherboard.
- What did the mother say to her child? Don’t be knotty.
- What did the digital clock say to its mother? “Look, Ma! No hands!”
- Everything you do is so mom point.
- What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.
- Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.
- Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
- Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-Mom Prime.
- What do you call a petite mother? Minimum.
Mother Day Jokes About Food
- What did the grape say to its mom? “You did a grape job raising me!”
- What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.
- Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a waitress for so long!
- Why did the Mother’s Day gift arrive the day after Mother’s Day? It was choco-LATE
- Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? No? Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
- “It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”
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- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
- Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Omelet? Omelet who? Omelet Mommy sleeps in today.
- At my age, I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys for kids.
Mother Day Nature-Inspired Jokes
- Who do flowers celebrate on Mother’s Day? Their chrysanthemums.
- When are lotuses, tulips, and roses red? When your garden is on fire.
- What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.
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- What did the tree tell her son before a big game? I’m rooting for you.
- Don’t wake up, Mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
- Why was the mother firefly so happy? Because her children were all so bright.
- Why does the mom kangaroo hate rainy days? Because the kids have to play inside.
Sweet Mother Day Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you, Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore you, Mommy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Llama. Llama who? Llama Llama, I love my mama!
- What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.
- How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana gives you a kiss for Mother’s Day!
- What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time to say Happy Mother’s Day!
- Roses are red, violets are blue. My mom’s jokes are funnier than yours.
- Why did the kids give their mom a blanket for Mother’s Day? Because she was the coolest mom ever!
Jokes About Motherhood
- Motherhood has shown me that you don’t need fun to have alcohol.
- Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags, cleaning up after little people.
- Ever heard of a job that requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing, and you can’t quit? That’s motherhood. Oh, and people’s lives are on the line.
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- Motherhood taught me just how far I can let myself go and still be okay with it.
- Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.
- What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
- Showering as a mom should be an Olympic sport: Everyone’s yelling your name, you have to beat the clock, and you rarely win a medal.
- Have you heard the urban legend about what happens when you scream “Mom” three times in the shower? A nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
- I hate when I’m waiting for Mom to cook dinner—and then I remember I am Mom.
- What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
- Silence is golden. Unless you make kids, then silence is suspicious.
- You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
- My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom. So, I woke them up at 3 a.m., demanding to know where my lucky sock was.
Mother Day Jokes From Celebrities
- “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” —Betty White
- “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron
- “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
- “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
- “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” —Erma Bombeck
Conclusion
There you have it, plenty of humorous Mother Day jokes to make your mom smile from dawn till dusk! Don’t forget, the greatest thing you can gift any mother isn’t even a joke, but the effort and time you take to put a smile on her face. These jokes are just right for use in cards, at family meals, or even as conversation starters at those sometimes-crappy Mother’s Day get-togethers.
Don’t stop at a single joke; combine and recombine these treasures throughout the day. Begin with a morning pun text, drop a one-liner into her card, and reserve the best for when the entire family’s gathered. Moms work 365 days a year, making us laugh (often at the most inopportune moments), so it’s only fitting we do the same.
So go ahead, select your best, rehearse your delivery, and prepare to make that lovely mom smile, illuminate the room. And hey, in case she rolls her eyes at your one-liners, just tell her that you learned everything about humor from the master teacher herself.
