220+ Text Message Jokes to Brighten Your Day and Share Smiles

Get ready to fill your inbox with laughter because text message jokes are here to deliver instant smiles! Whether you’re looking to send a clever pun, a hilarious one-liner, or a quick quip that makes someone’s day, these jokes are perfect for every mood and moment.

Short enough to fit in a single message but funny enough to spark big laughs, they’re the ultimate way to stay connected and cheerful. From silly wordplay to witty zingers, these 220+ text message jokes will brighten your day—and your friends’—one chuckle at a time. Because who doesn’t love a little humor on demand?

Classic text message jokes

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why don’t skeletons play soccer? They don’t have the guts to kick!
Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice!
Why did the grape never fight? It just let things wine down!
What do you call a sheep that knows karate? A lamb chop!
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
Why did the baker go to therapy? Too much dough stress!
Why don’t ghosts like the rain? It dampens their spirits!
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
Why did the banana go to school? To become a little brighter!
What did the calendar say after a hard day? I’m totally booked!
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think R, but it’s the C!
Why did the frog sit on the fence? To ribbit up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the music note go to school? To learn some sharp skills!
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat!
What did the apple say to the orange? You’re such a-peeling company!
Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
Why did the math book cry? Too many problems to solve!
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
Why did the clock get kicked out of class? It tocked too much!

Text message jokes for any occasion

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up under pressure!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired to stand!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t mountains ever get tired? They peak all day long!
Why did the clock get sent to detention? It was ticking off the teacher!
Why did the fish blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why did the pencil go to art school? It wanted to draw attention!
Why do bananas never feel lonely? They hang out in bunches!
Why don’t secrets last in a cornfield? Too many ears are listening!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumbly inside!
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bugs!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes!
Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend? He felt too corny!
Why did the golfer bring an extra tee? Just in case he needed a backup!
Why did the belt get arrested? It was holding up pants!
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey!
Why did the restaurant hire a pig? It was great at bacon customers happy!
Why don’t shoelaces ever win races? They always get tied up!
Why did the balloon go to school? It wanted to be well-rounded!
Why don’t books ever get lost? They always have a table of contents!
Why did the math book go to the doctor? Too many problems!

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Seasonal text message jokes

Why do flowers always smile in spring? They love being in bloom!
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter!
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? It’s swarm inside!
What do snowmen do in summer? Chill out in the freezer!
Why don’t skeletons like winter? They can’t handle the cold shoulder!
Why do pumpkins make great friends? They’re always gourd to be around!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two’s company, three’s a cloud!
Why do leaves never get lost? They always follow the breeze!
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!
Why don’t snowflakes ever get into arguments? They just let things slide!
Why was the turkey so proud? It was stuffed with confidence!
What’s a ghost’s favorite summer activity? Boogie boarding!
Why did the scarecrow love autumn? It was outstanding in its field!
What’s a Christmas tree’s least favorite trend? Getting lit too early!
Why do seagulls love summer? It’s the shore thing to do!
Why did the Easter egg hide? It was a little chicken!
Why did the leaf go to therapy? It had too many issues!
What did the snowman say to the sun? Stop melting my heart!
Why did the turkey refuse dessert? It was already stuffed!
Why do people love spring? It’s when the world turns over a new leaf!
Why was the summer book so exciting? It had a great beach plot!
Why do Christmas trees always get invited to parties? They’re life of the pine!
Why don’t scarecrows ever get bored? They’re always in the middle of something!

Silly text message jokes

Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
Why do chickens sit on their eggs? Because they don’t have chairs!
Why did the banana call the police? It got peeled in public!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
Why did the frog bring a suitcase? It was going on a ribbiting adventure!
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing!
Why don’t bicycles ever fall over? Because they are two-tired!
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why did the grape never tell secrets? It didn’t want to be in a jam!
Why don’t fish do well in school? They get caught up in nets!
Why did the scarecrow sit down? It was tired of standing in the field!
Why did the paper get so excited? It was on a roll!
Why did the peanut butter break up with jelly? It was feeling too spread out!
Why was the belt always late? It kept getting tied up!
Why did the cow bring a map? It didn’t want to get lost in the mooooonlight!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
Why did the soccer player bring string? To tie up the score!
Why did the snowman go to the doctor? He was feeling a little flaky!
What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
Why did the shoe refuse to leave? It was feeling a little tied down!
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!

Witty text message jokes

Why did the smartphone break up with the charger? It needed more space!
Why don’t skeletons ever lie? They always keep everything bare-bones!
Why did the belt get arrested? It was holding up pants!
Why was the calendar so popular? It had so many dates!
Why did the banker switch jobs? He lost interest!
Why did the broom apply for a job? It wanted to sweep in success!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
Why don’t eggs tell secrets? They might crack under pressure!
Why did the laptop go to therapy? It had too many tabs open!
Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
Why was the math test so happy? It had all the right angles!
Why do pancakes always do well in school? They stack up the knowledge!
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
Why did the barber win an award? He knew how to cut it!
Why did the pillow go to the doctor? It was feeling stuffed!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
Why did the clock get kicked out of class? It tocked too much!
Why was the pencil acting so dull? It was feeling pointless!
Why did the vacuum cleaner break up with the rug? It felt used!
Why did the banana go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter!

Text message jokes for kids

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why don’t skeletons fight? Because they don’t have the guts!
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems!
Why did the cow go to space? To see the moooon!
What do you call a snowman in summer? A puddle!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? It was stuffed!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Why did the chicken sit on the egg? Because it wanted to hatch a plan!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrr!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Why was the broom late? It swept in!
How do cows stay up to date? They read the moooos-paper!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice!
Why did the music teacher go to jail? She got caught with too many notes!

Text message jokes for friends

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up like you did!
I told my friend I had a joke about time travel. They didn’t like it.
You bring everyone happiness… when you enter or when you leave!
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles daily!
I asked my friend if he wanted a job. He said, “I’d rather nap.”
I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still building up the courage!
My friend said I never listen. At least, I think that’s what they said.
Why did the phone sit alone? It lost all its contacts!
I sent my friend a joke about pizza. They said it was too cheesy!
My friend tried to write a joke about procrastination but never got around to it!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
I tried to be a comedian, but my jokes kept falling flat—like your WiFi!
My friend’s internet is so slow, even their texts arrive as history lessons!
Why did my friend eat their clock? Because they wanted a second serving!
I told my friend I’d call them later. I lied. I texted instead!
My friend asked me to stop making time jokes. I told them, “It’s about time!”
I told my friend I had a joke about infinity. It never ends!
My friend asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I chose 11!
Why did my friend bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard drinks were on the house!
My friend said they love surprises, so I texted, “Guess what?” and never replied!
My friend told me they have a photographic memory. It’s just never developed!
I told my friend to embrace their mistakes. They gave me a hug!
My friend told me they were speechless, but they still kept texting me!

Puns in text message jokes

I used to be a baker, but I just couldn’t make enough dough!
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing!
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist!
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough!
Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts for it!
I told my suitcase a joke, but it didn’t laugh. Now it’s packing!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
I told my friend a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it!
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest!
The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the belt get arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants!
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside!
I told my plants a joke. Now they’re rooted in laughter!
I tried writing a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy!
The bicycle couldn’t stand on its own. It was two-tired!
What did one wall say to the other? Meet me at the corner!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!
The calendar’s days were numbered from the start!
I got a job at a mirror factory. I can see myself doing it!
The ocean didn’t say anything to the beach. It just waved!
I got a job at a shoe store. It was a sole-crushing experience!
I wrote a song about tortillas. It’s more of a wrap!

Dad jokes for text messages

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up laughing!
I told my suitcase a joke, but it didn’t laugh. Now it’s packing!
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts for it!
My dad told me a joke about paper, but it was tear-able!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months!
Why don’t cows have money? Because farmers milk them dry!
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I put my foot down!
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I told my plants a joke. Now they’re rooted in laughter!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Why do dads tell such bad jokes? Because the punchline is apparent-ly terrible!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
I used to be a baker, but I just couldn’t make enough dough!
I tried writing a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

One liner text message jokes

My phone’s favorite exercise is running out of battery too fast.
I told my alarm clock we need to break up, it never listens.
My bed and I have a love-hate relationship, mostly love.
The only marathon I run is a full season on Netflix.
I tried to be normal once, worst two minutes of my life.
My wallet and I are not on speaking terms right now.
I finally found my calling, but the signal keeps dropping.
My favorite workout is shaking my phone to reload notifications.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
I asked my phone for dating advice, now I get pizza ads.
I told my dog a joke, he still won’t laugh.
My phone’s screen time report just judged me harder than my mom.
My math teacher called me average, how mean.
My phone battery lasts longer than my last relationship.
I told my fridge we need space, now it won’t close.
Every text joke I send comes with free delivery, no fees.
My phone fell, now it’s on a downward spiral.
If laziness was a subject, I’d top the class effortlessly.
I gave up caffeine, almost lost my will to live too.
My phone’s auto-correct makes me sound way smarter than I am.
If sarcasm was a job, I’d be CEO by now.
My dreams are so expensive, even my phone’s calculator crashed.
I started exercising, then I remembered my love for snacks.

Q&A text message jokes

Q: Why did the phone sit on the charger?
A: It needed a break.
Q: Why did the text joke go viral?
A: It had great delivery.
Q: Why did the Wi-Fi break up?
A: It needed more space.
Q: Why did the phone bring a ladder?
A: To reach a higher signal.
Q: Why did the message feel important?
A: It was bold and underlined.
Q: Why was the smartphone always calm?
A: It had great reception.
Q: Why did the text joke get an award?
A: It was outstanding in its field.
Q: Why did the emoji break up with the text?
A: It felt misunderstood.
Q: Why don’t phones ever get lost?
A: They always have GPS.
Q: Why did the text cross the road?
A: To deliver a funny joke to text.
Q: Why did the keyboard go to therapy?
A: It had too many issues.
Q: Why don’t messages like elevators?
A: They prefer instant delivery.
Q: Why did the text stay up all night?
A: It was unread.
Q: Why did the smartphone apply for a job?
A: It needed more data.
Q: Why did the phone blush?
A: It saw a funny text joke.
Q: Why did the autocorrect break up with the text?
A: It kept changing things.
Q: Why don’t messages get tired?
A: They are always refreshed.
Q: Why did the battery go to bed early?
A: It was drained.
Q: Why do phones love telling jokes?
A: They have great punchlines.
Q: Why did the message go to school?
A: To improve its grammar.
Q: Why did the notification bring a joke?
A: To brighten someone’s day.
Q: Why was the group chat so noisy?
A: Everyone wanted to send funny jokes to text.
Q: Why did the contact list laugh?
A: It saw a really funny text joke.

Funny text message jokes

I told my phone a joke, now it keeps sending me laughing emojis.
Why did the phone break up with WiFi? It needed more personal space.
My dog ate my phone. Now he’s barking up the wrong text tree.
I tried texting my plants a joke, but they just leafed me on read.
Why don’t skeletons send text jokes? They don’t have the guts to.
My phone loves funny text jokes. It keeps auto-correcting me to puns.
Why did the tomato text the cucumber? It wanted to ketchup on things.
I texted my fridge a joke. Now it’s chilling with laughter.
My bed just texted me. It says we need to spend more time together.
Why did the banana send a text joke? It wanted to peel better.
I sent my computer a funny joke to text. It crashed from laughter.
Why did the clock text its friend? It wanted to have a second.
My phone told me a joke. Now it won’t stop buzzing with excitement.
I texted a joke to my calculator. It didn’t add up.
Why do phones love text jokes? They always get a great reception.
My shoes just texted me. They said I need to step up my game.
I sent a funny joke to text my friend. Now they won’t stop laughing.
My pillow texted me a joke. I’m still sleeping on it.
Why did the book send funny text jokes? It wanted to be well-read.
I texted a joke to my lamp. It lightened up my day.
My coffee mug texted me. It says I need to espresso myself more.
Why did my alarm clock send a text joke? It wanted to wake me up.
My socks texted me. They said we make the perfect pair.

Short text message jokes

Why don’t ghosts send text jokes? They prefer to keep things spooky.
My phone told a joke, but it was so bad, I deleted it.
Why did the sun send funny text jokes? It wanted to shine brighter.
I texted my shoes a joke. Now they’re running away from me.
Why do cows love funny jokes to text? They always have a mooo-d.
My alarm clock texted a joke. Now I’m waking up laughing.
I sent my goldfish a text joke. It forgot to reply.
Why did the cloud send text jokes? It wanted to lighten the sky.
My cat sent a funny joke to text. Now it’s feline good.
Why did the sandwich send funny jokes to send over text? For a bite of fun.
I texted my fridge a joke. Now it’s keeping things cool.
Why do books love text jokes? They always have a good story.
My pizza sent a funny text joke. It was extra cheesy.
Why don’t mountains send text jokes? They just peak at humor.
I sent a funny joke to text my clock. It tickled me.
My phone told me a joke, but I lost the connection.
Why did the cup send funny jokes to text? It was full of humor.
My socks texted me. They said we make a perfect pair.
Why did the car send text jokes? It wanted to drive some laughs.
I texted my coffee a joke. Now it’s brewing up humor.
Why do trees love funny text jokes? They always branch out.
My mirror texted me a joke. It was a real reflection of humor.
Why did the calendar send funny jokes to send over text? It had a date with laughter.

Clever text message jokes

I told my plants a joke, but they didn’t laugh. Now they’re rooted in silence.
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work in text jokes!
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from funny text jokes!
I asked my dog what two minus two is. He said nothing.
Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did one wall say to the other? “Meet you at the corner!”
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
I told my suitcase no more vacations, but now it’s packing up!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle!”
I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
I tried to start a bakery, but business was crumby!
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? They just needed some space!

Knock knock text message jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, cow says mooo!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a text joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the door, it’s broken!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie one home?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a scary movie!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and answer the door!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, open up!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you wanna hear more funny text jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, I forgot the joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice door open or what?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like another funny joke?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for more funny jokes to send over text!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito just bit me!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke out the window and you’ll see me!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut forget to laugh at this funny text joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I sent you this text joke?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, let’s go!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Etch.
Etch who?
Bless you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow, you really love funny jokes to text!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe tell me another funny joke to send over text

Final Words

Wrapping up, text message jokes prove that a little humor can go a long way in making someone’s day brighter. These bite-sized laughs fit perfectly into any conversation, turning ordinary chats into moments of joy.

Whether you’re sharing them with friends, family, or even to cheer yourself up, they’re the easiest way to spread positivity and connection. In a world where everyone could use more smiles, these clever quips and witty lines deliver happiness straight to your inbox. Keep them handy, keep them funny, and keep sharing—because with text message jokes, laughter is always just one ping away!